My Mixtape

1.    1.       Across The Stars (Love Theme) – John Williams – Star Wars Soundtrack

a.       The reason this song is my #1/#10 is because ever since I was little I’ve never been good with emotions. I’ve seen what feeling your emotions can do. I’ve seen great pain and I felt that pain. I’ve also seen that it can destroy a family and I don’t ever want to go through it again. This song makes me feel everything though; love, hate, happiness, sadness, and for those brief six minutes I’m okay with feeling everything at once.

2.       I’m Alive –Becca – Kuroshitsuji Soundtrack         

a.       The truth is I am alive more than I’ve ever been. I thank God for each and every day he has given me. He put me here to live my life to the best of my abilities and that’s what I’m going to do. I won’t feel sorry for myself when it’s my time to go and I won’t waste my time regretting any decisions I’ve ever made.

3.       May it Be – Enya – Lord of The Rings Soundtrack

a.       This song is on my soundtrack more for a memory than anything. When I was little my parents were never really around. I was always with a cousin or an aunt. It’s not that they were bad parents it’s just they had other things to do. I won’t lie though, I have no idea what they did or where they ever went when they were gone, and honestly I don’t want to. As I got older though when people would ask me what my favorite memories were I could never answer because I never had any other than sitting and watching Lord of The Rings for hours on end. When they were gone that’s what I did and this song was always my favorite from the movie. I guess it’s kind of sad to say that you remember a series of movies more than your own parents.

4.       Crazy – Alanis Morissette –Alanis Morissette: The Collection

a.        I’ve always been crazy that’s kind of a fact. What I’ve learnt though as I get older is that if I  weren’t crazy I would never survive in this world. In a way this song is me screaming my peace to the world.

5.       Chase the Morning – Sarah Brightman, Alexa Vega - Repo! The Genetic Opera Soundtrack

a.       To chase the morning for me is to basically live my life my way. To chase after the things I want and to dream as big as I can, cause really who cares if I fall because as long as I can pick myself up, I’ll be okay.

6.       Show Me Light – Ramin Karimloo – Human Heart

a.       This one has to do with the fact that I had gotten so low that I just wanted someone or something to save me, because I wanted to die. I thought that if I were to die everything would go away, I didn’t care who I hurt. I was literally shown the light though. Jesus saved my life and I thank him and God every day for it. It’s weird though because most people don’t think I believe and I guess its cause they judge me by my outer appearance.

7.       Depraved Heart Murder At Sanitarium Square – Repo! The Genetic Opera Soundtrack

a.       I know this is going to sound funny but this is my “rising from the ashes” song.  In my life this is the song that plays after I’ve beaten down as far as I can go and I miraculously rise from my grave to save the day.

8.       Our Time Has Come – James Ingram, Carnie Wilson – Cats Don’t Dance Soundtrack

a.       There’s really no way for me to describe this other than me telling the world to step aside cause I’m coming.

9.       The End. – My Chemical Romance – The Black Parade

a.       This was another song for my low point because I just hated myself. The reason was because everyone else did. I never even did anything to anyone. Kids just didn’t like me because I thought differently. I was tortured so bad as a child. I’ve never understood how anyone could ever treat someone so inhumanly. I can’t even fully explain everything they did to me cause the list is just too long, and honestly I would never finish typing it.